


Not So Different

by klancecentric



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Corruption, Developing Relationship, Dog - Freeform, Established Relationship, Galra Keith (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Langst, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Violence, klance, non-binary Pidge, poor lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-15 16:13:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11234580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klancecentric/pseuds/klancecentric
Summary: When Lance was 11 years old, he was attacked by a dog. It was the worst day of his life.Now, 8 years later, he is attacked by Keith.





	Not So Different

**Author's Note:**

> ah yes, my return to writing. this is pretty sucky, BUT i tried lol  
> pls leave comments, maybe give me some ideas for new things  
> i love you all!!! sorry for this hehe

At 11 years old, Lance McClain was attacked by a dog. 

He remembers the day vividly, remembers walking home in the rain from a friends house in the dark, remembers the huge Rottweiler jumping at him from behind, remembers getting torn to the ground. He remembers screaming out for help, anyone, please help. He remembers the moment he realized no one would be coming for him. He remembers feeling the vicious dog ripping into his calf, letting blood gush from the wound. He remembers giving up, crying and shaking on the ground as the Rottweiler attacked and attacked and wouldn't stop, no matter how loud he screamed. He remembers passing out. And he remembers waking up covered in blood and trekking back to his house, shaking and sobbing with the feel of the dog on him still present in his mind. 

Lance remembers. And he cannot forget, no matter how hard he's tried.

That's where Lance's biggest fear had developed. Where Lance used to run up to pet the dogs walking along the street, he would now shake in place and choke back sobs as memories of the attack resurfaced. Lance spent the rest of his childhood petrified.

\---

When he was 15, he went to Hunk's house during a vacation period from the Garrison. He had heard so much about his roommate's family, about his mother's delicious cookies, about his father's contagious laugh, about his older brother Xavier's band, about how proud Hunk was about his family. So Lance was excited. And Lance was certainly surprised when he stepped foot into the Garrett household to have a german shepherd jump up at him, barking. 

The Garrett family now makes sure to put the dog away before Lance comes over, the image of Lance shaking and shrieking still fresh in their minds. 

\---

Now, at 19 years old and a paladin of Voltron, Lance has to conceal his fear the best he can. When he's fighting countless Galra and the memories of dogs tearing him open come to the front of his mind, he has to put up a mask, keep the team from seeing how scared he really is. His hands shake when he pulls the trigger.

The only person besides Hunk who know of Lance's greatest fear is Keith. When Coran decided the Castle needed to take a little pit stop to pick up new gear to fix the control board at a barren planet, he sent Keith and Lance down to the surface to search for any other things that may be of use. Searching the jungle-like surface of the planet, which they will later know as Eugeru, Keith and Lance did in fact encounter something else. Little did Keith know how big of an effect it would have on his rival.

Space dogs.

Who would've guessed, another thing that seems to be universal. About the same size as earth dogs and dark in color, the space dogs seemed absolutely harmless. Keith was almost relieved. Almost. 

Till he heard the scream that erupted from Lance. 

'What the fuck? Why is he screaming?' Keith thought as he turned around to face Lance, seeing that none of the space dogs were near him. What he did see though, was Lance, face stricken with fear, hands shaking violently, and he could hear how labored his breathing was.

Keith took a cautious step forward. "...Lance? Buddy, are you okay?" One of the dogs followed Keith as he stepped forward towards the cowering boy, yapping around his feet.

Lance screamed, falling to the ground, clawing at his face, burrowing his knees up to his chest. "G-Get away! Get that a-away from me!" He sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut. Keith watched as he brought a hand down to his leg to violently rub at the armor covering his calf. He'd never seen Lance this panicked before, and why? Because of a little puppy? 

Keith took another tentative step forward, shooing the space dog away, and sat next to his crying friend. Lance burrowed farther into his knees, now scratching his calf again and again, muttering broken phrases under his breath.

"No, no, not again... p-please not again... nunca más, por favor dios" Lance sobbed, grabbing onto the front of Keith's paladin armor. Keith felt his heart break in his chest at the action, seeing Lance in so much pain.

"Shhhh Lance... it's okay, I'm here honey... you're safe." Keith rocked the two of them back and forth as Lance cried. "Can you tell me what happened..?" Keith asked quietly.

And that was when Keith learned of the nightmares Lance's childhood was made up of, all the judgmental stares the poor boy received when he started shaking in the presence of a dog, all the scars covering his body, especially the deep, jagged one that's lodged into his calf where the dog had attacked the most. Both boys left the planet that day with damp eyes.

\---

After their "bonding moment" on Eugeru that day, Keith refused to leave Lance's side. The rest of the team didn't know the details, and as much as they wanted to know what had happened that day that caused this newfound relationship and trust in the two boys to bloom, they left it alone. Allura and Coran would watch with curious eyes as Keith would grab Lance's trembling hand and lead him out of the room often, leaning close to his ear to whisper and comfort him. The team didn't need to know what happened, they were just happy the both of them now had someone they cared for and could confide in.

One time, Shiro had walked into the lounge to look for the spare bolt Pidge had asked him to get, and spotted Keith and Lance curled up together on the couch. Keith, his little brother Keith, showing love to the person he used to hate. Shiro watched as Lance tucked his head farther into the crook in Keith's neck, whimpering lightly, and heard as Keith faintly whispered "I got you, baby, I got you."

Shiro left the room smiling wider than he had in a long time.

\---

They're being attacked on a Galra ship.

Team Voltron got outnumbered by the Galran army that had come to attack them while Pidge attempted to install another one of their viruses to the ship. Shiro and Keith fought near the front, cutting down the soldiers one by one, desperately fighting them off from Pidge's work, as Lance and Hunk shot down as many Galrans as they could from behind. They had this under their belts. As long as Pidge finished soon.

But then there was a scream

Keith turned around fast to see Hunk cradling his shoulder, where a blast from one soldier's blasters had struck him.

"Shit! Hunk, buddy, are you okay?" Lance yelped, letting down his guard.

"Lance! Keep fighting!" Shiro yelled, having to fend off more soldiers now that two of their backups were gone.

"No! Shiro you don't understand, he's hurt!" Lance's lip quivered, worry evident on his face as Hunk's blood seeped through his fingers. "I-I have to help him..."

Shiro paused. He knew how much Hunk meant to Lance. Maybe they'd be okay without their sharpshooter backing them up this time...

He nodded at Lance, indicating that it was okay, and turned back to help Keith fend off their enemy as Pidge finished.

"Guys! I almost have it!" Pidge anxiously said, glancing down at Hunk. "We're gonna get you help, buddy."

Just as Pidge was finishing up their job at the control panel, the Galrans slammed into Keith. Hard. He fell to the ground.

"KEITH! Shit, shit, Pidge hurry!" Shiro stressed as he had to stop the soldiers from passing him.

Too fast to see it coming, a Galran rammed the butt of their blaster into Shiro's temple, ending the protection given to Pidge. It wouldn't be long before they got to them and Lance as well, Shiro thinks. He blacks out.

\---

They are stuck on a Garla ship.

That's all that Lance is sure of when he wakes up. His hands are bound together with black technology with strips of glowing purple flowing through it, and those are chained to the wall.

Blinking the confusion away, he looks around to see Shiro and Hunk both passed out and chained to the wall, and Pidge awake and seething with their hands cuffed and chained. He's happy to see that Hunk's shoulder is patched up, and that the two other paladins in the room aren't majorly injured.

What he isn't happy about, is that Keith is nowhere to be seen.

Thrashing, Lance starts rambling to whoever can hear him. "Where's Keith?! What did you do to him?! I swear to god if you hurt him I will kill you. I'll kill you!"

He continues to scream for a few minutes, before Pidge speaks up with a wet voice. "Lance... Haggar came and took him away a few minutes before you woke up..." They hiccuped, tears starting to spill.

"No..." Lance breathed out. "No! What are they gonna do to him?! No, no, mi amor, por favor regresa a mi... te necesito..."

Pidge let out a little sob. "He put up such a fight... he wouldn't stop s-screaming at her when she used her magic to drag him across the room to h-her and the druids. He begged for them not to h-hurt you." They cried, hanging their head.

Lance shook his head back and forth. "No, no, he wouldn't do that. He-He's smarter than that... He... No, Keith..." Lance whispers brokenly.

\---

They wait for too many ticks to keep track. Sometime during the wait, Shiro woke up, resulting in a tearful conversation about Keith and how they'd get out of the ship. They really don't know how they'll pull this one off.

Just then, Haggar walks into the room, her crooked smirk shown from under her hood. Still, no Keith.

"Hello, paladins." She hisses out, "Such a pleasure for all of you to stop by! I already had the chance to meet the red paladin, Keith, was it?" She smirked, casting eyes at the rest of the team.

"W-What did you do to him?!" Lance snarled, fighting against his restraints.

"Oh, the precious blue paladin... you'll see soon enough..." Haggar looked him straight in the eyes, a glint of pure evil in her eyes. "You know, I found it strange... how much the red paladin cares for you. The one thing he kept repeating to myself and the druids as we fixed him up was to not lay a hand on you, his precious blue." She narrowed her glowing yellow eyes, "Is he... in love with you?"

Lance choked "W-what do you mean fixing him? What did you fucking do?!"

"Hush, blue, you can see for yourself! All of you paladins can." She grinned, beckoning to a druid near the door.

The druid comes into the room, with a smaller Galra behind him. The Garla snarls and thrashes in the grip of the druid, growling.

"Ah, is he still unstable? Truly unfortunate, I was hoping he'd obey me." Haggar sighed. "Oh well, this will have to do. Precious blue paladin, take a look!"

Lance looked up at the violent Galra, and froze. He could feel a cry clawing its way up his throat as he recognized the hair and facial structure of the Galra in front of him. Keith.

"No- NO! Qué has hecho?! Keith, my love, mi amor, what have they done?!" Lance wailed, tears streaming. He could hear Pidge start crying as well, seeing who was practically their brother turned to the enemy. He heard Shiro's screaming, begging for them to fix him, to let him go. Lance couldn't focus on anything but his boyfriend, fighting through the restraint he's in, desperate to attack, attack, attack.

"You see, paladins, look at your companion! Nothing better than a vicious Galra!" She cackled, petting Keith on the head. She pulled away rapidly once he snarled and tried to bite her cloaked hand.

"Now, precious blue," Haggar started, turning all her attention to the crying paladin, "As I've already said, the one thing the red paladin asked of us was to not hurt you." She smirked. Lance paled, inching back farther in his spot on the ground. "But, you see, he never said anything about someone else hurting you. Imagine his reaction when he comes to his senses to learn that he was the one to hurt his lover..."

"No, no, please, please don't make him- Keith! Don't, you're better than this!" Shiro called out, struggling in the chains.

"D-Don't hurt him! Lance! Don't let th-them hurt you!" Pidge cried, thrashing their body towards him.

All Lance could do was stare forward at Keith, who was glaring holes through him and baring his teeth in a predatory way. Lance paled. He looked just like the dog all those years ago.

He could feel his breath become labored, the convulses starting to take over his body, as he continued to make more connections between Keith and the dog. He looked around desperately for something to comfort him and stop the oncoming panic attack, but froze when he realized. Keith was his comfort in these situations. Lance was helpless.

"Well? Are you going to let him go?" Haggar demanded.

Lance's eyes widened, his heartbeat pounding in his ears as the druid released his hold on Keith and ordered a command to him. "Destroy the blue paladin."

Lance barely heard the screams coming from his friends as Keith lunged.

Snarling, Keith tore his new Galran claws into the top of Lance's paladin armor, successfully tearing it open and reaching skin. Lance screamed, scooting away from him as he continued to cut along his chest with hate pouring from his actions.

"Keith, Keith STOP!" Lance shrieked, noticing the blood seeping on the ground from all the deep cuts along his torso. Guess he's gonna have a few matching scars to the one on his calf. Keith only bared his teeth yet again and hit him across the face. "Please, please, dios mío, no hagas esto! Por favor!" Keith's now gold eyes glared into Lance's tear-filled ocean blue ones, before wrapping one clawed hand around the boy's neck.

He took in a labored breath, straining to escape Keith's tight grip, tears pouring. "P-please, Keith.... I kn-know you're in there somewhere...Y-you gotta help me fend off m-my nightmares! Keep me s-safe from the dog... Don't d-do this... I love you..." He choked out, staring into Keith's eyes. What he would give to see his boyfriends violet irises right now. See Keith smile at another corny joke Lance would make, hear Keith's dumb laugh, light and airy, see the smile that breaks out when he holds his hand, feel Keith's normal, soft hand in his own. He smiles at the memories, head becoming light.

Lances casts his hazy eyes to the rest of his team, losing focus, air, and blood fast. He sees Pidge sobbing, tearing their body back and forth trying to get to Lance, to help him, save him from this demise. He sees Shiro, screaming and screaming over and over again at both boys, for Keith, "Stop, jesus, stop! You can't hurt him! You love him, Keith! Snap out of it!" And for Lance, "Hold on, you'll be okay, buddy, just keep your eyes open!" Shifting his eyes over slightly, he can see that Hunk regained consciousness sometime during his attack. He's screaming. Calling out for his best friend, big fat tears pouring from his eyes. "LANCE! Buddy, hold on, shit, we'll get help! I love you, you can't die on me! You're my best friend, you can't leave me here alone! You hear me?! You CAN'T!" Lance faintly heard him cry. He smiled. At least he'll die loved.

Even if it's by the hands of his lover.

"I love you..." Lance wheezed out one last time. He saw two things before his eyes shut. First, he watched as Keith's eyes returned to their normal color, the Galra ears revert back to human ones, and saw the most terrified look he'd ever seen cross his boyfriend's face, and second, he saw Allura burst in the door, shooting the Garlans and druids around them, and carefully blasting Shiro's shackles off before continuing to destroy the rest of the enemy.

\---

Lance dreamed of his 11-year-old self being attacked in the alleyway. Only this time, it wasn't the dog. It was Keith.

11-year-old him screamed louder than he ever did on the night of the real attack.

\---

4 days

That's how long Lance has been in a pod for.

The team is going insane.

Hunk sits in front of Lance's healing pod for hours each day, fat tears pouring out of his eyes from seeing his best friend like this, and rubbing his now-healed shoulder. Pidge spends their time with Lance by going on their computer and trying to change the code of the pod so it's programmed to heal faster. They need their brother back. Shiro and Allura both are quiet, grieving the missing presence of the cheery and playful paladin. Coran grieves in silence, casting sad eyes at Lance's pod every time he passes the room, hoping Lance would come back to them soon. It was like losing his son all over again.

And then there was Keith

Even though Coran had managed to extract the control in his ear that the druids had implanted to make him obey them and Haggar, Allura was hesitant about letting him back to the Castle of Lions, especially after she took in the condition Lance had been in when she found them; pale in the face, multiple deep scratches lining his chest, a dark bruise forming around his neck, and an extremely faint pulse. She had barked out commands to Shiro to take him back to the Castle immediately, that Coran already had a pod set up in case of injury. She had looked down to the ground to see a pool of dark blood, still flowing, and she completely lost it. Allura had pounced on Keith, holding him down as he cried and thrashed, begging to go with Lance. Tears threatening to spill, she had started screaming. "KEITH! What have you done! He loves you! You CAN'T HURT HIM! Yet, you did! You're nothing but a monster." She hissed out the last line glaring daggers into the whimpering boy. He hung his head low and let Allura say whatever she pleased. After all, in his mind, he believed he deserved it. He was the monster.

Now, back at the Castle, Keith isolated himself from everyone. He wouldn't answer when Shiro or Hunk would come to the door, begging for him to come out, telling him that it wasn't his fault, he wasn't in control, and that they still loved him. He didn't speak even when Allura came by his locked door to apologize for her actions on the ship, voice breaking from tears. He just lay on his bed, curled in on himself, either staring at the wall, void of emotions, or crying, thoughts of Lance bleeding under him stuck in his mind. How would he ever be able to love him again?

Keith truly doesn't have an answer to that.

\---

Once day 6 rolls along, Keith gives in to temptation. After all, how long can he survive without at least catching a glimpse of his light in life?

In the early hours of the morning, around 3 in the morning everyday since the 6th day in the pod, Keith would sneak out of his room and into the infirmary. Each day he goes, he leans against the front of the pod, head lolling next to where Lance stands unconscious. In a tearful voice, Keith would tell him about everything that's happened while he was gone, about how much they all miss him, about how sorry he is. It was an endless cycle.

Tonight, day 9, Keith is back in the infirmary.

He spots the ticker on the other side of the room. 3:07am. Everyone else in the Castle is asleep.

He shifts his body so he is facing Lance in the pod. The blue-eyed boy has healed nicely, he notices with puffy eyes. But Allura did tell him that lance would come out with a deep scar where one of the larger cuts was right under his chest, a reminder of what Keith did to him.

He shuddered.

The last thing he wanted was Lance to have a mark from this. From when the person who he loves and who loves him betrayed everything they were for, turned into the enemy. Jesus, he almost killed him.

Leaning his forehead against the glass of the healing pod, Keith began talking.

"Hey, Lance. Y'know, love, we all miss you so much. It's really not the same around here without you. You'll never guess who cried over you today. Shiro! And he never cries, trust me. Hunk's been stress baking again. Remember when he make all the Balmerans his space cookies to apologize for the Galra? Yeah, he's baking that much again. Pidgey's been curled up in their room for most of the time, they really miss you too."

He took a breath, feeling the tears start to form in his eyes again.

"Buddy... we need you back. I... I need you back. S-So bad, Lance. I miss you so much. And I'm so, so sorry that I did this to you. I-I'm a monster. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you. I l-love you so much. It's okay if you don't love me anymore, Lance, I would understand... I mean, why would you? I put you here." He sobbed, softly banging his head against the glass once. "I'm s-sorry, Lance. I let you down. I let e-everyone down." 

He sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand as he tried to control himself.

"W-well, Lancey, I'm gonna g-go back and try to sleep a little. I don't know if you can here me, but I love you. Always and forever. Goodnight, baby."

Keith stood up, trembling lightly, and made his way out of the infirmary and back down the hall to his room.

Laying in bed, he let a sob escape his throat. gritting his teeth and covering his eyes with one clenched fist, he let himself cry himself to sleep. Again.

It's not just Lance he has to worry about loving him again.

How will he love himself again?

\---

On the morning of day 11, Keith is awoken by Coran bursting into his room.

"Keith, my boy! Lance has woken up!" He yelled, a huge smile on his face.

Keith's world froze. He was awake? He has to see him! But, wait, what will he think of him? Will Lance hate him?

Fuck it.

Keith's never sprinted out of a room so fast.

\---

The infirmary was a mess.

But there was Lance, in the center of the room, awake and smiling into the tight hug Hunk had him trapped in.

Keith felt his heart stutter, seeing his boyfriend outside of a pod, seeing him speaking, seeing him alive. He felt his eyes grow damp.

He looked around, realizing everyone was in the room, that everyone was smiling and crying, already having hugged Lance.

Keith really had to go see him. No matter how terrified he is.

Taking small steps towards the smiley boy and choking back emotion, Keith reached Lance's back.

He gulped, tapping him on the shoulder, shaking slightly from holding back tears.

Lance turned around and froze.

'Of course,' Keith thought, 'He's disgusted by me.' His heart dropped.

But then, Lance broke out into a sob, wrapping his arms tight around the shorter boy in front of him.

Now it was Keith's turn to freeze. That was unexpected. He felt the first tears make their way past his eyes, rolling down his cheek slowly as he hiccuped his cries quietly into the crook of Lance's neck.

"I'm so sorry," He sobbed, pulling Lance in tighter, "I did this to you, I-I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so s-so sorry Lance. I hate myself, y-you probably don't love me anymore, oh god Lance, I-"

Lance cut him off and hushed him. "Mi amor, it wasn't you!" he pulled back from Keith's embrace to grab his face and stare him in his watery eyes.

"But it was! That was me, or at l-least a part of me. I'm a- a monster!" He buried his face in his hand, trembling.

"Keith," Lance choked out, his chest hurting from seeing him in so much pain and despair, "Baby, I heard you. I heard you every night you came to see me, Keith. I know what you think. And I promise you, I promise, that I still love you. I'll love you forever, yeah? Always and forever, love. Please, carino, don't think of yourself as a monster, you're my Keith. You're Keith. And I love you."

He pulled Keith into a tender kiss, enveloping him in his arms again.

He felt as the tension eased out of Keith's frame, watched as he pulled away and slumped against his chest, sniffling.

Lance smiled lightly. "I'm okay Keith, we're okay." He rubbed his back as Keith looked up at him.

"Hey Lance?"

"Hmm?"

"...Y'know I love you, right?"

Lance chuckled. "Yeah, mi amor, I know. I love you too, you dork. Always."

They would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> k so this is my first voltron fic! pls leave comments they are the light of my life and are the only thing that keeps me writing lmao !!! i love u all  
> \- m


End file.
